am I the only one who tries to learn lyrics to rap songs so I can surprise people during car rides
in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out
why are boobs and butts so enticing they are literally sacks of fat
our friend noah
almost got mugged today
they were like “give us your money”
and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY
and it worked
WHAT THE FUCK????
me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back
WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER
if you’re a boy and you cry it is not dumb and you are not a pussy you’re a fucking human being
why does this make me feel mad
Because he’s considered powerful, and she’s considered a whore.
i think they were referring to the fact that thEY’RE BOTH DEFYING THE FUCKING LAWS OF GRAVITY AND THE ONE TIME I TRIED HANGING OFF A MONKEY BAR I BROKE MY NOSE
"I love you."
“What if I got a bowl cut”
- waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
- waitress: sir please stop cyring